


it's the most wonderful time of the year

by orphan_account



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Christmas, M/M, No Squipcident, This is mostly a joke, as i should tbh it sucks, because!!!!! i hate the squip, but only for a few chapters, chatfic, fluff but its poorly written, jeremy and michael will be in the later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:00:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27698662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: this is gonna be...long...it starts on nov 25 (a month before christmas) and it like...leads up to christmas
Relationships: Jake Dillinger/Rich Goranski
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10
Collections: Richjake fluff





	1. it's beginning to look a lot like christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [agent43](https://archiveofourown.org/users/agent43/gifts).



> im so sorry that everyone seems ooc  
> anyway  
> rich is courtjester  
> jake is jakeyd  
> chloe is willyoubemyvalentine  
> jenna is xoxogossipgirl  
> brooke is getlohst  
> christine is infairverona

courtjester: IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME

jakeyd: rich no there is still a full month until christmas

xoxogossipgirl: nah he's valid i saw a sprite cranberry commercial the other day

xoxogossipgirl: so that means it's time for christmas

getlohst: i saw the hershey's kiss bell commercial 

willyoubemyvalentine: toyotathon is on...so...christmas

infairverona: Home Alone 2: Lost In New York was on Freeform the other day

jakeyd: ok i get ur point

courtjester: ho malone

courtjester: post malone's slutty younger brother

jakeyd: sunflower but it's slutty

willyoubemyvalentine: isnt that song about sex

jakeyd: sunflower but it's even sluttier than it originally was

courtjester: guys.....are we.....slutty

willyoubemyvalentine: no we're just said

xoxogossipgirl: FREE PEGGING FOR SAD BOYS!

infairverona: You guys aren't...slutty...you just fall in love with celebrities too easily

infairverona: This morning Rich told me that he thinks Michael Buble is hot

courtjester: mr. bubble

xoxogossipgirl: i agree michael buble is hot

getlohst: yeah thats valid

courtjester: besides michael buble's christmas album, what's the best one

getlohst: home for christmas 

getlohst: NSYNC is superior

xoxogossipgirl: ABSOLUTELY NOT

xoxogossipgirl: i mean their xmas album is better than backstreet's

xoxogossipgirl: but the backstreet boys have better music in general

jakeyd: jesus christ u guys are way too eager to argue about this

willyoubemyvalentine: it's fun

infairverona: My favorite Christmas album is Merry Christmas From Brenda Lee

xoxogossipgirl: mine is the jackson 5 christmas album

courtjester: very good choice, jenna

xoxogossipgirl: gracias

courtjester: omg french

jakeyd: mine is christmas kisses even though there are only like 4 songs on it

jakeyd: im a sucker for ariana grande

courtjester: valid

willyoubemyvalentine: mine is the mariah carey christmas album

getlohst: i like the taylor swift christmas collection

getlohst: or wrapped in red 

courtjester: KELLY CLARKSON

jakeyd: what's ur fave, rich?

courtjester: obviously holiday wishes (indina menzel)

courtjester: its v good

getlohst: who wants to help me put up my tree

courtjester: ME

jakeyd: ur already putting it up?

getlohst: yes

jakeyd: oh on god? i'm down

willyoubemyvalentine: im only going if jenna is

xoxogossipgirl: im only going if chloe is

willyoubemyvalentine: guess we're going then

infairverona: I'm not able to come over, sorry! But you guys can come over soon to help me put up Christmas lights!

courtjester: rad

courtjester: we'll miss u chrissy

xoxogossipgirl: i'll text u all the juicy details

jakeyd: of course you will


	2. baby, it's cold outside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gang gets snowed in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yooo! the original baby it's cold outside is gross and creepy! but the michael buble and indina menzel version? iconic. great. go listen to it. and watch the music video

"Bad news," says Brooke, walking into the living room. "We're snowed in."

She looks around at her friends, slung across various pieces of furniture. She sees Jenna and Chloe looked worriedly at each other. Brooke's a little worried too. The five of them, trapped in her house, with no parental supervision? Chaos will, in fact, ensue.

Jake jumps up. "Let's make cookies!" He and Rich scramble to the kitchen. Jenna faceplants into the couch.

"Don't break anything!" Brooke calls. Chloe sighs, and Brooke looks at her with pleading eyes. "Can you please watch over them? Pretty please?"

"Fine." Chloe groans, flipping her hair over her shoulder and walking to the kitchen.

* * *

After just ten minutes, the kitchen is a mess.

"Brooke! Where's your flour?

"Top left cabinet!"

Something hits the floor with a clang. "Sorry!"

"Chloe! You're supposed to be watching them!" Brooke yells. Chloe throws her shoe out of the kitchen in Brooke's general direction.

* * *

"Cookies are ready!" Rich shouts. "They're a little burnt, but they're still good."

"You would know," Chloe mutters. "You ate all of them."

"What was that?" Rich asks, turning the volume on his phone all the way up. "I can't hear you over the best Christmas song ever." ("The Best Christmas Song Ever" is apparently "All I Want For Christmas Is You." Jake disagrees, but he doesn't want to say anything in fear of Rich cracking an egg over his head or something.) 

The cookies _are_ a little burnt, but they're still just as good as everyone expected. Jake and Rich are both horribly disorganized and just messes in general. But even though the kitchen always ends up being a huge mess, they're good bakers.

* * *

After two hours, Rich is restless. He's been pacing around the room for the past twenty minutes, and Chloe is clearly sick of it because she picks up her discarded shoe and chucks it at him. 

"I'm bored."

"We can tell." Jenna replies, not looking up from her phone.

"Let's watch Home Alone."

"I've seen that movie far too many times!" Jake protests. "Let's watch Elf."

"Elf is stupid!" Chloe says, grabbing her shoe.

"Do not. Throw a shoe. At my husband." Rich says, grabbing the offending shoe from her.

"He is not your husband!" Chloe says, snatching the shoe back.

"But he might as well be, right?"

"Aw, babe, are you indirectly proposing?"

"No. I'm directly proposing. Jake Dillinger, will you marry me?"

"Of course I will."

Jenna groans. "Stop being a cute couple! It's annoying and also gross."

"Shh Jenna," Brooke laughs, "Let them have their fun."

Chloe claps. "What movie are we going to watch?"

Jenna raises her hand, and Chloe nods at her. "We should watch the Charlie Brown Christmas movie!"

Everyone perks up at that.

"I love that movie!" Rich says, clapping.

"I know." 

They watch Charlie Brown, and Jake convinces Chloe to let them watch Elf. Brooke forces them to watch the Barbie Christmas special movie even though none of the others want to. They end up crowded together on the loveseat, Rich in Jake's lap, resting his head on Jake's shoulder, Jenna sitting on the armrest, Chloe squished up next to Jake, and Brooke on the floor. They're all tired, and hungry, and cold, but they're too cozy to get up for food or a blanket.

Rich looks up at Jake and whispers to him. "Don't let me fall asleep. Brooke and Chloe will eat all of the cookies that we worked so hard on." Jake smiles and promises not to let Rich fall asleep. But thirty minutes later, when Rich drifts off into a peaceful slumber, Jake can't bring himself to wake him up. Jenna looks over at them and starts to say something.

"Shh!" Jake whisper-shouts, "He's sleeping."

It's three in the afternoon when all of them end up dozing off. They don't wake up until one in the morning.


	3. let it snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gang wakes up very very early in the morning and they go outside to play in the snow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway yeah this one is a shorter chapter because i am lazy!! enjoy or whateva

"Guys!" Rich whispers. Everyone groans as they wake up.

"What fucking time is it?" Chloe asks. She looks like she's ready to throw a shoe at him.

"It's one in the morning. That doesn't matter. Let's go outside and play in the snow!"

"No." Chloe says.

"Yes!" Brooke says, already grabbing her jacket, scarf, mittens, and hat. 

Jake sighs. "I mean, I can't say no to my husband, so."

"I wanna build a snowman!" Jenna says excitedly.

"I'm going back to sleep." Chloe mumbles, her voice muffled because she's already shoved her face back into a throw pillow.

They hurry outside.

Rich shivers. "It's so cold."

Jenna throws a snowball at him. "You're the one who wanted to come outside!"

"Yo...what if we had a snowball fight?" Jake suggests. 

"That would be pretty sexy of us."

"How in the world," Brooke asks, "Is a snowball fight...sexy?"

"It was a joke, Brooke." Rich says. "Don't feel bad about not getting it. It's okay to have a shit sense of humor."

She throws a huge snowball at him, and he gasps.

"That was uncalled for! You're cancelled. Blocked and reported."

"Shut up!" she giggles, throwing yet another snowball at him. Jake throws two at her. And then...chaos. There's snowballs flying everywhere, there's screaming, there's laughing. Rich falls over and, too lazy to get up, decides to make a snow angel. 

"Snow angels are fun," he says, staring up at the starry sky.

"Snowmen are better." Jake says, and Rich sits up.

"Let's make a snowman!"

Jenna does a happy little dance before rolling the snow to make a base for the snowman. In just a few minutes, the body of the snowman has been completed. 

"We need stuff for the face." Jenna says, turning back towards the house, but Chloe is already outside, with a carrot for the nose.

"Thanks, Chloe!" Rich says. "We can use rocks for the eyes and the mouth."

They name the snowman Tinsel McChilly, and Brooke puts an old scarf and hat on him.

Rich smiles. "I love him." 

Jake grins. "Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen, i was gonna call this chapter "do you wanna build a snowman?" but i felt like that was stupid, so. also another contender was "frosty the snowman" but i kinda hate that song cuz frosty fucking dies at the end. anyway yeah!!! let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!


	4. silent night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the day after they get snowed in (so like the 26th of november)  
> im so sorry i made richjake have a lil fight...dont kill me please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> courtjester is rich  
> jakeyd is jake  
> infairverona is christine  
> xoxogossipgirl is jenna  
> willyoubemyvalentine is chloe  
> getlohst is brooke

10:00am

courtjester: i cant believe we got snowed in yesterday

infairverona: I suddenly don't regret not being able to come over

xoxogossipgirl: i mean u didnt miss much

getlohst: yeah all we did was watch movies and sleep

jakeyd: we made a snowman at one in the morning

courtjester: his name is tingle mcchilly

willyoubemyvalentine: also rich and jake made cookies and i was forced to supervise

willyoubemyvalentine: it was hell they just acted like the perfect couple that they are the whole damn time

jakeyd: dont hate us cuz u aint us

courtjester: this is why we're not hanging out with you guys today

infairverona: Oooh, are you going on a _daaate_?

courtjester: yes (:

jakeyd: not really tho cuz rich needs help studying for the latin quiz thats after thanksgiving break

xoxogossipgirl: as if any studying is gonna go on when u 2 are in the same room

courtjester: shut up jenna

12:30pm

courtjester: HELP

xoxogossipgirl: shut up rich no one cares

infairverona: Jenna! Stop being mean to him

xoxogossipgirl: sorry chrissy

infairverona: What's up, Rich?

jakeyd: he's just upset because i left to go buy groceries

courtjester: IM GOING TO GET MURDERED

jakeyd: no ur not stop listening to true crime podcasts

courtjester: IM GOING TO KILL YOU

jakeyd: not if u get murdered first

willyoubemyvalentine: stop fighting, you're tearing this family apart

courtjester: yeah jake stop fighting

jakeyd: you started it

getlohst: and we say that they're the perfect couple

courtjester: we _are_ the perfect couple

jakeyd: hell yeah we are

2:00pm

**xoxogossipgirl to willyoubemyvalentine**

xoxogossipgirl: do u think that rich and jake are doing ok

willyoubemyvalentine: they seemed ok yesterday

willyoubemyvalentine: i think theyre just playfighting

xoxogossipgirl: idk they seem...strained

willyoubemyvalentine: actually...yesterday they almost had a shouting match because...honestly idk

willyoubemyvalentine: but i think theyre fine

willyoubemyvalentine: dont tell anyone that i told u abt that btw

xoxogossipgirl: ok i wont just lemme know if anything seems off

willyoubemyvalentine: of course

3:00pm

**getlohst to xoxogossipgirl**

getlohst: did rich and jake seem a little weird to you yesterday or was it just me

xoxogossipgirl: chloe said that they almost started yelling at each other yesterday

xoxogossipgirl: shit i wasnt supposed to tell you that

getlohst: its ok i wont tell anyone

getlohst: idk they just werent talking to each other as much

getlohst: they seemed...distant

xoxogossipgirl: i agree

xoxogossipgirl: if they break up which one are we beating up

getlohst: jake because rich is my fave

xoxogossipgirl: i agree i love jake but rich is better

getlohst: period

4:00pm

**infairverona to getlohst**

infairverona: Hi Brooke! I don't really like gossiping, but I was just wondering if you noticed anything...weird about Rich and Jake? I've just noticed that recently they've been fighting a lot and they just have...tension 

getlohst: omg u noticed it too? 

getlohst: jenna said that chloe said that they almost started fighting when they were over at my place yesterday

getlohst: crap

getlohst: i wasnt supposed to tell you that

infairverona: My lips are sealed

infairverona: I love them both, you know? And I just hate being out of the loop

getlohst: yeah i get that

8:00pm

getlohst: how was the date?

courtjester: it was good

jakeyd: wouldve been better if rich didnt get mad at me every five seconds

courtjester: i did not!!!!

xoxogossipgirl: jesus christ you guys need to break up already

courtjester: ...

getlohst: ...

infairverona: ...

willyoubemyvalentine: ...

jakeyd: why would we do that

xoxogossipgirl: cuz uve been fighting all the time

infairverona: Yeah, like how you almost started yelling at each other yesterday

willyoubemyvalentine: wait who told you that

infairverona: Oh crap

infairverona: I forgot that Brooke told me not to tell you

getlohst: well jenna was the one who told me

xoxogossipgirl: sorry chloe

xoxogossipgirl: it just kinda slipped out

willyoubemyvalentine: its ok

jakeyd: we're all good

jakeyd: at least _i_ think we are

getlohst: rich? any comments?

infairverona: Rich?

xoxogossipgirl: rich u there?

willyoubemyvalentine: he's online he's just not responding

willyoubemyvalentine: he's probably angry

jakeyd: shit


	5. all i want for christmas is you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk man im making this up as i go  
> this one takes place on nov 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for the last chapter babes  
> but it will get better  
> eventually

**jakeyd to courtjester**

jakeyd: hey babe are you ok?

jakeyd: u havent said anything to any of us since last night

jakeyd: are we...good?

courtjester: i dont know

courtjester: can i call you

jakeyd: of course

Jake picks up on the first ring. "Hi."

"Hey." Rich says. He sounds so exhausted that Jake's heart drops at the sound of his voice.

"Are you okay? Are we...okay?"

"Yeah."

Jake sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Obviously we're not, babe."

"I know, I just..." Rich trails off.

"I don't know what I did wrong, but whatever it is, I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything wrong! I'm just...I just don't feel like...I don't think I'm good enough for you? I mean obviously you think I am 'cause you're dating me and it's pretty clear that you like me a lot....but I don't know? I just feel like when people look at us and they find out that _you're_ dating _me_ they seem surprised? Like they know that you're too good for me or something. I don't know, maybe I'm just being paranoid but I'm just freaking out because...what if you just feel bad for me? What if you're like...too scared to break up with me?"

Jake _knows_ what Rich looks like right now. He knows that Rich is chewing on his fingernails, sitting on the floor, knees tucked up to his chin. Jake can hear that Rich is tearing up. It hurts, it _physically hurts_ Jake to know that Rich is upset right now.

"I'm coming over." Jake says, and he hangs up before Rich has time to tell him no.

* * *

Rich hears the knock on the door. It's one of those stupid patterny knocks that are for "secret clubs" and shit. They made it up in freshman year, and it just...stuck. He's about to go downstairs to open the door, but Jake is already up the stairs and in his room in record time.

"How did you even get in?" Rich asks, slightly alarmed.

"Spare key, remember? You gave it to me in like, tenth grade."

"Oh." And just like that, the conversation is over. Rich looks at his carpet as if it's the most interesting fucking thing he's seen ever. Jake grabs Rich's face in both hands and stares at him.

Jake looks worried, and Rich is nervous that Jake's going to break up with him right here, but he doesn't. He kisses Rich's forehead and says: "I love you."

Rich almost faints. Out of all the things that are on the list of "Things That Jake Dillinger Will Probably Tell Me At One Point In His Life," Rich never expected this. It's not even on the list. Sure, they've said it to each other over text, but that's...different. Jake tells _everyone_ that he loves them over text. It's just...what he tells his friends. But never, not once, has he said it out loud. Rich thinks that someone could probably write an entire essay on this moment. Maybe even a fucking book.

"Rich?" Jake asks, and Rich realizes that he hasn't said anything for the past minute.

"I...uh."

"You don't have to say it back," Jake grins. "I just thought you should know. If you want to break up with me, for whatever reason, it's fine. I just love you a lot. And I'll love you even if you break up with me."

"I'm not going to break up with you."

"Oh, on god?"

Rich rolls his eyes, but he's smiling. "On god."

"Pog!"

"Jake, I swear to God. You did _not_ just use 'pog' in romantic context."

Jake laughs, actually _laughs_ at that. Rich will never get sick of that sound.

"Yes, I did." Jake says, and he carries Rich, bridal-style, downstairs and plops him down onto the couch.

* * *

courtjester: jake and i are ok

courtjester: but i'm still mad at you guys

infairverona: I'm glad that you guys made up!

xoxogossipgirl: why r u still mad at us

getlohst: why were you mad at us in the first place

willyoubemyvalentine: did u have makeup sex

jakeyd: no comment

courtjester: i plead the fifth

courtjester: ~~but yes we did~~

jakeyd: RICH!

courtjester: i didnt say shit

willyoubemyvalentine: he didnt say shit

xoxogossipgirl: so why were u guys fighting in the first place

getlohst: jenna ur so nosy

xoxogossipgirl: yeah duh

xoxogossipgirl: but srsly why were u fighting

courtjester: no comment

jakeyd: i plead the fifth

infairverona: So! Now that everything is cleared up, who wants to help me put up Christmas decorations tomorrow?

getlohst: i'm down to clown

xoxogossipgirl: i'll be there

jakeyd: rich what abt u

courtjester: if ur going im going

jakeyd: ok so we're going

willyoubemyvalentine: i'll come

infairverona: Awesome!

jakeyd: what thanksgiving food do u think isnt valid

courtjester: turkey isnt even good

courtjester: its dry

courtjester: i like cranberry sauce

getlohst: im on team cranberry sauce

infairverona: I like pumpkin pie

xoxogossipgirl: pecan pie is better

willyoubemyvalentine: idk i like sweet potato pie

jakeyd: cranberry sauce slaps

courtjester: all right clowns, time for bed

courtjester: gn

xoxogossipgirl: gn

infairverona: Good night!

jakeyd: night babe

willyoubemyvalentine: dont let the bedbugs bite


	6. deck the halls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bitch i-  
> this  
> is so bad  
> anyway they help chrissy decorate 4 christmas

Christine loves her friends. She really does. They're funny, nice, the whole shabang, really. But they sure were chaotic.

Case in point: Rich "I Do Stupid Shit A Lot And It's A Wonder That It Hasn't Killed Me Yet" Goranski is standing on her roof. Her _very slippery roof._ It had snowed, just a little, and there was ice on the roof. Rich was totally going to fall.

"Rich, please don't die!" Jake calls, not looking anywhere near as worried as he should be.

"Please do!" Chloe says, clearly still upset by the fact that Rich had stolen her candy cane that morning. Jenna swatts her.

Jenna glares. "Don't be mean to my son." 

Brooke gasps. "He's MY son, you bitch!"

"Rich, please get off my roof." Christine begs.

"No!" Rich "I Never Listen To Requests Unless They're From My Boyfriend" Goranksi shouts.

"Rich, get off of Christine's roof." Jake says.

"Okay!"

Yep, Christine thinks, "Rich 'I Never Listen To Requests Unless They're From My Boyfriend' Goranski" is the perfect nickname for him.

After 3 (three) shouting matches (Chloe and Rich like to argue), 1 (one) near-death incident (Rich almost fell off of the roof after getting up there for a _second_ time), and a lot of hard work, the gang finally finishes decorating Christine's house. They step back onto the curb to enjoy their handiwork.

"Wowza." Rich says.

And then, he stumbles back off of the curb, and promptly gets hit by a car.

Well, not really. But he almost gets hit.

Well. Not _really._ But the car was pretty damn close to hitting him.

"Jesus Christ!" Rich exclaims, turning around to, most likely, beat the shit out of whoever was driving.

The driver is Michael fucking Mell. 

He rolls down the window, a shit-eating grin on his face. "Hi!"

"I hate you."

"Wow, you guys did a great job decorating! Didn't they, Jere?" When he speaks to Jeremy, it's as though he's an exhausted mother trying to get her teenage son interested in something.

Jeremy, in true annoying teenager fashion, just nods, not looking up from his phone.

"Jeremy!" Brooke shouts in delight when she sees him in the passenger's seat. Jeremy looks up from his phone and grins, opening the door. 

"Hey, Brooke." She hugs him, and out of the corner of his eye, Rich sees a wave of...jealousy? Dissapointment? Hurt? pass over Christine's face.

Huh, Rich thinks. Interesting.

To Rich's best knowledge, Jeremy and Brooke aren't a couple. Brooke does seem to be pretty...affectionate towards him, but that's just how Brooke is, right?

Right?

* * *

A few hours after they leave Christine's, Jake and Rich are sitting on Jake's bedroom floor, quizzing each other on random shit about themselves. 

"What's my favorite color?" Rich asks.

"Red," Jake smiles, "That one was easy."

"Shut up. Your turn to ask a question."

"Who did I have a crush on in first grade?"

"Madeline. And no, I haven't broken the promise. Chloe will never know."

"Good." Jake says, hugging Rich, Rich's chin on Jake's shoulder. Rich shifts so he can sit in his boyfriend's lap.

"Okay, my turn." Rich says. "This one is a hard question, and you probably don't know the answer, but I digress. How long have I had a crush on you?"

"Uh...I'm gonna guess....sixth grade?"

"Shit, howd'ya know?"

"You're not subtle. At all." Jake kisses Rich's forehead.

"Fuck you." Rich laughs, and then he kisses Jake. The kiss is soft, _tender_ at first, but it quickly turns into something more. Desperate. Hungry. Before Rich knows it, Jake is on the floor, propped up by his elbows, Rich straddling his lap. 

"Fuck..." Jake murmurs, and it takes a second for Rich to realize that Jake is, in fact, hard.

"Oh." 

"Should I...should we, uh. Should we stop?" Jake asks. Rich giggles a little.

"Jakey, we've had sex before. Your _dick has been in my mouth._ Why are you shy all of a sudden?"

"I don't know!" Jake laughs. "Things just feel...different now that I've told you I love you."

"Well, to answer your question, no. We should not stop."

"Okay." Jake says, pulling Rich down into another searing kiss.

* * *

A few hours later, after a few rounds of _fucking excellent_ sex, Rich and Jake are cuddling in Jake's bed.

"For the record," Rich whispers, "I love you too."

Jake grins, pulls Rich a little closer, and kisses his neck. 

"If you give me a hickey, I'll kill you."

Jake laughs. "Shut up, you know you love it."

"Fuck you."

"How 'bout I fuck _you_ instead?"

"Babe, we've fucked, like, ten times today."

"Want to go for just one more round?"

Rich turns to Jake, his eyes lighting up.

"Fuck yes."

They don't stop at "one more round." It's about three more rounds. 

* * *

Rich looks over at Jake. He's asleep, and Rich can't help but stare at him.

He's so beautiful, Rich thinks.

"I love you, Jakey." Rich whispers, snuggling closer to Jake and falling asleep.


	7. santa claus is comin' to town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gang goes to see mall santa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO! YOU SHOULD GO TO THE MALL DRESSED UP IN UR MOST RIDICULOUS OUTFIT AND TAKE PICTURES WITH MALL SANTA!!!!! IT'S FUNNY  
> courtjester is rich  
> jakeyd is jake  
> xoxogossipgirl is jenna  
> willyoubemyvalentine is chloe  
> infairverona is christine  
> getlohst is brooke  
> Also! This chapter is SHORT AS FUCK i am sorry.

7:00am

courtjester: MALL SANTA 

jakeyd: ...what

xoxogossipgirl: he's talking about the santa at the mall that u can take pictures with

getlohst: jeremy and i were planning to go take pictures with him

jakeyd: isnt jeremy jewish

getlohst: yes but we think that americanized christmas isnt about religion

willyoubemyvalentine: do u guys ever sleep

courtjester: no

getlohst: aw man jere says he's busy today ):

infairverona: We should take pictures with Mall Santa!

courtjester: yes but lets wear iconic and wacky outfits

courtjester: i am going to wear a skirt and there's nothing u can do about it

jakeyd: as u should

getlohst: im gonna dress like a y2k bitch (:

xoxogossipgirl: straight up gonna wear a floor-length dress

infairverona: I can borrow a costume from the costume department

jakeyd: im gonna be a cowboy, baby

willyoubemyvalentine: what if i dress up as ebony dark'ness dementia raven way

courtjester: I AM GOING TO WEAR A MAID OUTFIT

jakeyd: aaafjifuhuadipfdha

infairverona: You broke him again

At 10:00 that morning, the gang meets in the mall parking lot. Christine passes out candy canes.

"Okay, question." Rich says, unwrapping his candy cane.

"Yes, Rich?" Chloe sighs, preparing for what is probably a stupid and completely random question.

"Do you guys think that those, like, fruity flavored candy canes are valid?" 

Everyone in the group answers at the same time, a chorus of "no"'s. Jake is silent.

"Jake, any comments?"

Brooke giggles. "He's still in shock after seeing you in that maid outfit."

Jenna snorts. 

"Okay, gang, where is this freaking mall Santa?" Chloe asks.

"Food court." Jake answers.

"He can speak!" Christine exclaims. Everyone claps. and congratulates Jake on finally snapping back into reality. He rolls his eyes.

The mall smells like Christmas. When they pass the stores, they can smell candy-cane scented candles. There's people drinking hot chocolate _everywhere_. Business is booming. There's a huge Christmas tree in the middle of the food court, and in front of it is a throne in which the famous Mall Santa is sitting.

"Holy shit, the line is long." Jake says.

"Worth the wait!" Rich laughs.

"I second that." Jenna says.

They get in line behind a little girl (wearing an Elsa costume) and her mom. The mother turns around, and her jaw drops. Apparently, seeing a group of friends, one wearing a maid outfit, one dressed up as a cowboy, one in full Regina George/Cher Horowitz-esque garb, one dressed in a fully "goffick" (in the words of Tara Gillespie), one in a full-ass prom dress, and one in a Juliet costume isn't normal in her daily routine. Rich grins at her. Jenna takes on a snappy personality for a quick second, just to ask:

"What are you lookin' at?"

The lady turns around very quickly. The rest of the group bursts out laughing. As the line moves up and they get closer to Santa's throne, Chloe notices something.

"Guys, holy shit. Is that mall Santa...Mr Reyes?"

"I think...." Christine says, "Yeah. Yeah, it totally is."

"Holy guacamole!" Brooke says.

"Never say that again," Chloe says, "You sound like my mother."

Jenna giggles, and they finally reach the front of the line.

"Hi, Mr Reyes!" Christine says, but everyone shushes her.

"That's not Mr Reyes, that's Santa!" Rich says, looking back at the line of kids behind them.

"Oh! Of course!" Christine says.

They all crowd on and around the throne, and smile as the shell-shocked "elf" stares at them. They grab the copies of the photos, and head to Starbucks. Everyone stares at them.

"Peppermint mocha time!" Jenna says, doing a happy little dance.

Over the speakers, the Michael Buble and the Pippini Sisters cover of "Jingle Bells" plays.

"I'm in love with the Pippini Sisters." Rich states, and Jake gasps.

"I thought you were in love with me!"

"Move over, Jakey D, The Pippini Sisters have taken your spot!" Christine laughs.

"And Michael Buble, to be honest." Rich says.

"Mister Bubble himself." Brooke and Jenna say at the same time.

"Ohmigod, twins!" they say at the same time again.

The mall is full of wreaths, mistletoe, ornaments, and the smell of Christmas. It's wonderful.

Christmas is, truly, in the air.


	8. under the mistletoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they do be kissin doe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is short bc i am lazy

12:30pm

getlohst: its finally december

jakeyd: only 3 more weeks until christmas break!

courtjester: hell yeah

xoxogossipgirl: i cant believe its raining this sucks

xoxogossipgirl: who wants to drive me home

getlohst: i'll do it but only if you come over to my house tonight

willyoubemyvalentine: brooke wants us to like,,,,,have a lil party or whatever 

courtjester: im down

9:00pm

 **willyoubemyvalentine** added **getlohst, infairverona, and xoxogossipgirl** to the group

 **willyoubemyvalentine** named the group **bad bitches**

willyoubemyvalentine: wow, brooke, the mistletoe was a nice touch

xoxogossipgirl: now all we have to do is get jake to stand under it so rich will kiss him

infairverona: They seem great, but it's weird that they're keeping so far apart from each other

getlohst: you're right usually theyre holding hands or cuddling 

infairverona: Do you think we make them uncomfortable?

xoxogossipgirl: yes

xoxogossipgirl: but thats why its fun

willyoubemyvalentine: do you think jake would stand under the mistletoe for cash money

xoxogossipgirl: lets pool our money

getlohst: i have like......6 dollars in my pocket

willyoubemyvalentine: i found three quarters in my jacket

infairverona: I have 2 bucks

xoxogossipgirl: I have a penny

willyoubemyvalentine: ok so do u think jake will do it for

willyoubemyvalentine: hang on let me do math real quick

willyoubemyvalentine: 8 dollars and 76 cents

getlohst: idk ask him

**willyoubemyvalentine** to **jakeyd**

willyoubemyvalentine: would you stand under the mistletoe for $8.76

jakeyd: what the fuck

jakeyd: no i'm worth more than that

**bad bitches**

willyoubemyvalentine: he said no

infairverona: Aw man

xoxogossipgirl: i'll beg

getlohst: good idea

**xoxogossipgirl** to **jakeyd**

xoxogossipgirl: please

jakeyd: what

xoxogossipgirl: stand under the mistletoe pleeeeeeease

jakeyd: fine

**bad bitches**

xoxogossipgirl: he said yes

getlohst: OMG HES DOIN IT

infairverona: I don't think that Rich has noticed yet

willyoubemyvalentine: hang on

**willyoubemyvalentine** to **courtjester**

willyoubemyvalentine: hey idiot look up from your phone

courtjester: wait why

willyoubemyvalentine: just do it

courtjester: ...oh

**bad bitches**

infairverona: ITS HAPPENING

getlohst: wow chrissy is so excited that she didnt use an apostrophe

infairverona: SHHHH THEY'RE KISSING

willyoubemyvalentine: good job ladies

willyoubemyvalentine: jesus theyre really goin at it huh

xoxogossipgirl: time to look away

getlohst: chloe throw ur shoe at them before they start fucking in my living room

willyoubemyvalentine: im on it, boss

infairverona: ...That's gonna leave a bruise

xoxogossipgirl: brooke theyre heading upstairs id advise u to stop them

getlohst: im kicking them out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love u guys! please for the love of god eat something and drink water


	9. christmas is a season of love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they kissin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry that this is bad  
> takes place on december 3  
> this was mostly inspired by tumblr fluff prompts  
> also this chapter is short as FUCK because i am lazy and writing kissing scenes is hard when the last time you kissed somebody was seventh grade

Jake is finishing his homework, and Rich is bored. He's scrolling through Instagram, sitting on Jake's bed. He scrolls past a picture, scrolls back up, and does a double take. He looks up from his phone.

"Dude!" he exclaims, "Did you see Mell's most recent Insta post?"

"Rich, I'm trying to work-"

"I know, I know, but look at this!" Rich rushes over to Jake's desk, shoving his phone in Jake's face. It's a picture of Jeremy and Michael. They're holding hands.

"Oh, they finally got together." Jake states matter-of-factly, and goes right back to his homework. Rich frowns.

"Jaaaake," Rich complains, "I'm bored. I wanna spend time with you."

Jake sighs. "Fine, you can sit on my lap until I'm done working." Rich grins, and happily obliges.

Sitting on Jake's lap is definitely better than just sitting on his bed all alone, but it's not any less boring. Rich starts poking Jake's cheek. Jake ignores him for about thirty seconds before reaching his limit.

"What is it, baby?"

"I'm not gonna stop poking you until you give me attention." Rich says, pouting. Jake laughs.

"You really are a needy bitch, huh?"

"Sorry," Rich says, suddenly feeling guilty for bothering his boyfriend, "I can get up if you-"

"No, it's fine. I just have, like, one more assignment, okay? And then we can cuddle and watch the Christmas Chronicles."

Rich spends the next fifteen minutes staring at Jake. _He really is beautiful,_ Rich thinks distantly. Jake's got a fucking _great_ jawline, and a good side profile that Rich will forever be envious of. And his lips...God, Rich wanted to kiss him so badly right now ~~and maybe do more than just kiss.~~ Jake finally finishes his homework, and he carries Rich to the bed, turning his computer on and starting the Christmas Chronicles. Rich sits super close to him, resting his head on Jake's shoulder. Jake makes an approving noise, and Rich snuggles closer. Jake plays with Rich's hair absentmindedly.

"Your hair is so soft." he mumbles, kissing the top of Rich's head. Rich snuggles even closer. He's practically in Jake's lap at this point. Jake thinks that if there's any more friction, he might get..

_Oh._

Fuck.

Rich notices immediately. 

"Excited, aren't you?" he asks, grinning. Jake's face heats up in embarrassment. Rich kisses him deeply.

Jake bites Rich's bottom lip, drawing a soft moan out of him. Rich pulls away from the kiss to close Jake's computer and put it on the nightstand. Jake grabs Rich's hips and kisses him. The kiss is all hunger and want and lust, and it is, quite possibly, the best kiss that Rich has ever received. Jake squeezes Rich’s hip harder, and he whimpers.

“Does that feel good?” Jake asks. Rich nods, and goes in for another kiss, but Jake dodges it. Rich pouts, and Jake smiles softly at him. In one swift movement, Rich is lying down, Jake straddling his lap and pinning his hands above his head. 

“Oh.” Rich says, and Jake laughs. He kisses Rich again, softer this time. Rich clearly wants more, but Jake Dillinger is a huge fucking tease.

“Jake Dillinger,” Rich whispers, “You are a huge fucking tease.”

“And what about it? You know you like it.” Jake whispers back, winking.

“Fuck you.” Rich retorts, but there’s no malice in his tone. Jake smirks, and then his mouth is on Rich, and it’s wonderful and full of want. And God, does Jake want him.

There’s this warm feeling in Rich’s chest, and he wonders for a brief second if this is what heaven feels like. The feeling spreads, from the top of his head to his toes, and then there’s this feeling of  _ tension _ and then there’s release. Jake swallows, and rests his head on Rich’s chest.

"I love you." Rich sighs blissfully. Jake looks up at him and smiles.

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow my tumblr da-good-da-bad-da-vinky so we can scream about richjake  
> the next chapter will be longer i promise


End file.
